Tuesday, January 19, 2010

E.

As yesterday was a holiday, today was the first day of my workweek. I love short workweeks. Still, the first day of the week is always a struggle- especially if I was not as on top of my teacher prep-work as I should have been! NFL playoffs, weeks of DVR'd television, writing, and various crafty endeavors were just too good to resist. SO, on a stressful first-day-of-the-week, I like to find things to make me laugh during my planning period. I have two things to share with you, both are BRILLIANT. And I don't use that word lightly.

First up: Sleep Talkin' Man

This is just amazing. Seriously. a-MAZing! The blog is written by a woman whose "mild-mannered English husband lives quite a colorful existence in his dreams." And, fortunately for us, she has decided to record what he says in his sleep and then types up the best bits for our reading pleasure. It may not sound as amazing as it truly is, so you will have to just trust me and read it.
Oh, you want a sampling? Ok, sure!

"Can you hold... can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py."

"Hey, don't... don't say anything. Why don't you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure."

"Legs time! Everybody get your legs!"

"Please just walk away. I don't want to have to stand here and say something so awesome that I'll have to remember it the rest of the day. Thank you!"

"We haven't got a plank. Just fucking jump."

"Yes I'm sad, but if you stood further away, I'd be happier. No, further away. Well, let's face it, just fucking CUNT OFF! Thank you, I appreciate it."


Excellent. I think one of my favorite things about this is that he manages to be simultaneously incredibly vulgar and polite. It's a truly delightful combination.


Thing To Share #2: on Twitter- Shit My Dad Says

It's basically fantastic. In most senses of the word. Most. Now, I have no way of knowing if he is actually recording things his dad says, but it's great regardless. A smattering of goodness from his father for you:

"Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a fucking parade every time i take a piss."

"Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."


And there you have it. Two things that will make you laugh on the first day of the week. You're welcome.

Monday, January 18, 2010

D.

I've never been one for sticking to resolutions. I always make them far too ambitious, push myself too hard and end up giving up -rather quickly- in frustration. I like to think that recognizing this in myself is a sign of maturity, and as such, have decided on a different tack this year.
There's a beautiful blog that I follow, mamawifedoula, for the beauty of her writing, the poetry she sometimes shares, and her wisdom. Each year so chooses Words of the Year to live by- ideas to incorporate into her life. It sounded like a wonderful alternative to rigid, performance-focused, resolutions. This year, I decided to give it a shot and have chosen 3 words I would like to meditate on and live by this year- Bravery, Trust, & Stillness. So, the question is, "what will this look like?"

Bravery: I don't mean this in the Evil Knevil sense of the word; I mean brave in my life choices and being less shy. For me, this will be applying to long-shot MFA programs, maybe moving somewhere unfamiliar (or at least preparing to), talking to people, making new friends, reading my poetry, singing my songs, and not worrying about what the future may or may not hold. Just Acting, just Pursuing with wild abandon. Or, as D.H. Lawrence puts it, being "most vividly, most perfectly alive." I think that is one of the bravest things we can do.

Trust: *writer disclaimer: I will never be one to try to force my faith or proselytize on here, but I am open about it, if it is relevant to a topic at hand*
This is very much about my faith. I spent far too long being angry at the Christians and the churches that didn't meet my expectations, that seemed fake and far from what Jesus was truly about- radical love, acceptance, community, and sacrifice. I was so angry, I lost track of myself, my faith, and I became jaded with it all. But that's wrong. I am who I am & I am wildly imperfect- I like to cuss (a lot), I sometimes want to rebel for the sake of rebellion, I get angry in my heart, and I can be selfish. But this is okay. This can be worked with if I just Trust that what i feel & know in my heart and spirit is True. I can then remember that despite all the ugly "Christianity," the judgment & hatred, there people who are for Love, always, and that God will help us be strong.

Stillness: This will take practice. As a writer, teacher, and sometimes musician & artist, I often let my mind run away with itself. But I need to learn to reign it in sometimes, too. There's nothing wrong with the wildness, but I would like to be able to sit in a thought for a while. Walk around in the space of it. I'd also like to learn to still my heart. To not let my emotions get the better of me when my mind is running in certain directions. I want to Feel Everything! But I would like to gain a bit more control over my feelings, rather than letting them run amok all over my nerves & throughout my body.

So there they are. In type, on the internet, for anyone to see who wishes to look. I think that keeping it to simple ideas will be more effective, and these ideas, rather than "lose 15 pounds!" or "stop drinking sodas!" will be far more beneficial to my person in the long run.

If anyone is reading this yet, what did you decide to do to start this new year?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

C.

So, it's been a while. I know, I know. I need to be a bit more consistent with this "updating the blog" thing before I distribute the zine more widely. That way there is actually something to see when people check out the link that's on the back page.
So, in an effort to achieve consistence, I am posting something. Something good.

Jumping on the whole "OH MAN IT'S 2010 AND THAT'S, LIKE, THE FUTURE" train, may I present the things we wish had been invented already:

1. The Jetson's Briefcase Car: this would really save the hassle of parking, and would save a TON of space in large cities. plus it would just be really really cool.
2. Flying Cars: My grandmother said she has been waiting for this for a long time. she always assumed that if she lived to see the year 2000 that this would have become a reality. i think she's a little pissed at Science for not making this happen yet.
3. Brain Recording, You Know, For Dreams: this would be amazing. that is all.
4. Food Pills: Richard suggested this. i personally think food is way too good to take in pill form, but i can see the benefits. we'd probably all be a lot healthier if food came in a form that allowed for calorie/nutrient control and was viewed as fuel rather than something so closely tied to our emotions and moods.
5. Recipe-Figure-Outer-Plus: Jenny says- "I just want a machine where I can put in samples of food, and it can figure out the recipes and duplicate them. Also a laundry basket that walks and does laundry, and hangers that pick up my clothes for me." I like it.
**the up-coming issue will expand upon this!**

Earlier this week, I was reading my new issue of Relevant magazine, and it brought up an interesting point. Let me preface this by saying that I am an internet fan, of course. But still, I recognize that there are hazards as much as there are benefits, just like anything else. A writer for Relevant suggested that there is the possibility that the internet, and the democratic nature of sites like Twitter, Livejournal, Blogger, Facebook, etc., might actually do more harm to the political democratic process than good. The thought is that as my generation grew more and more connected, we have put more and more personal information out into the e-world where it can potentially live forever. I know there are some ridiculous things that I have put on-line, things from my college years that I was thinking about and working through that were rather personal. Of course, I limited who was able to read them, but still they are there somewhere. If I were ever to run for an elected office (I won't, but if I were to) those things would be there for people to find and display for everyone to see. On the one hand, the point the writer makes is that we will become disenchanted with political leaders- we will stop seeing them as true leaders and won't be able to see them as heroic. That seeing all their past mistakes or strange thoughts will make us less comfortable with seeing people as capable of important political positions. And of course, since soon everyone will have said or done something stupid and put it on-line somewhere, we won't have faith in anyone having that level of responsibility, and will become disillusioned with all of it.
The other possibility is that it could be positive. Perhaps it will allow us to have a more realistic view of politics. Or maybe it will help us feel more connected to elected officials and thereby more connected to the process. It could serve as a reminder that we're all people, all going through life trying to do the best we can, sometimes making mistakes, but still wanting to do good. Maybe it will even make the whole process more truly democratic. If the internet makes it harder for connected/moneyed people to hide indiscretions, perhaps other people will have more of a shot in politics eventually.

So here's what I ask of you, whoever you are, who may be reading this: Do you think that all this openness and access to other people will be negative in politics? Will we be hurt and disenchanted by the lack of space between ourselves and those we might elect? Or will it be a positive thing, giving people the opportunity to get a real sense of the person we might elect? Will it make us feel more connected to the process of democratic election to feel like officials are real people, too?